Sometimes the people you care about make choices, where you aren’t prioritized, even though you think you should have been. You might not be able to understand why, and this makes you sad. This is exactly what happened to me.
Enter Sean Stevenson, one of my best friends. Sean was a part of my 9 people best friends group. He meant a lot to me, as did the others.
When the school year got over he drifted away from the group and when school reopened he was a completely different Sean.
A Sean, who pretended to not know me in front of his new friends, a Sean who ignored me and the others completely, a Sean who wasn’t my friend anymore.
This hurt for some reason, seeing him hurt, hearing his voice hurt, what happened to him?
I wanted to push these thoughts away, I wanted to ignore him as well, I wanted to act like it didn’t affect me and that I didn’t care, but I did and I couldn’t get over it.
My friends seemed to get over it; they stopped talking about him, stopped caring and gave up on him. It seemed so much easier for them, but then I realized, that maybe the reason why I couldn’t get over it was because he was more than a friend for me, I guess I liked him.
I don’t know it still confuses me and I know that it will continue to baffle me, but all I can do now is try to get it out of my mind, he probably never thought of me in the same way and maybe he has a reason for changing. Better to not think of unthinkable things than struggle to study them.
Like him or not, care about him or not, I have to get over him.
Some people change, so did he, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just another door that was a little tight and I just have to push harder to get through.